Author: The Mama On The Rocks

Holding Up The Line

This is what I look like today. You guys. No kidding. This is real life. In general, mornings are Briggs’ worst behaved time of day. If he is going to yell, scream, throw himself in the floor, hurl hard plastic objects across a room, or otherwise become a pint-sized terror, it will be between the hours of 6-8am. Last week he flipped the script on us. Out of no where, he started having excellent mornings. He was respectful, kind, generous, and helpful with his baby sister. He didn’t cause us to be late because of an unforseen last-minute meltdown. We spent the ride to school laughing and singing along with the radio. You guys. This is UNHEARD-OF. Don’t worry. He changed back. Yep, he lasted Monday through Thursday of last week. Those brief, but glorious four mornings of peace and tranquility were thwarted by last Friday. He woke up yelling, threw his clothes down the stairs, refused to eat breakfast and then yelled at me for “starving him”. I had to wrestle him to the kitchen floor after being punched and kicked as he was trying to hurt himself. That is always fun. If you’ve never experienced having to restrain your own child to keep them safe from themselves, I wouldn’t recommend it. Not only is he already in full-swing meltdown mode, but he then flexes all of his...

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Ring Bearer For Hire

When my cousin’s fiance asked if Briggs could be the ring bearer in their fall wedding, I cringed. It wasn’t because we don’t love them, but because we weren’t sure how he would handle the task. Most kids might be nervous in front of crowds of people or twirl around as they stand in front of an audience. I was afraid our little darling might use the unity candle to burn down the pulpit. Reluctantly, after she had given him ring pops to ask his permission, we agreed. I mean, how can you say no to that!? In the weeks that followed, we prepped him and helped to count down to the big day as kids with behavior disorders sometimes do better with time to warm up to something they might not be so excited about. As the day approached, he liked the idea less and less. Wedding day came and we had the bag packed with the bribery Shredder from TMNT, a box of post-wedding cookies, and toys he could play with quietly in the floor during the remainder of the ceremony. Notice the top right picture. This is how Briggs walked out to a church packed with supportive family and friends of the bride and groom. Full on thumbs down. The hand gesture of disapproval turned into fists balled and progressively more angry facial expressions. When he got...

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There’s No Crying In Parenting

  From about eighteen months to four years old, Briggs kept his meltdowns private. His behavior started small at first—random hitting for no reason, throwing temper tantrums, and what seemed like normal “terrible two” behavior, but on some sort of cocktail of Adderall and Mountain Dew. As he has gotten older his behavior has grown with him. We’ve gone through the spitting phase, the name calling phase, the tantrum in the floor as if his bones were made of limp noodles phase, and the screaming at the top of his lungs phase. When he turned four (two years ago...

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10 Things People (Who Love You) Say to People Parenting Extreme Children…And How to Respond

10 Things People (Who Love You) Say to People Parenting Extreme Children…And How to Respond Parenting a strong-willed child has been a constant battle. The learning curve is steep, my friends. Handling the awkward stares from grocery store patrons and fellow soccer moms when your child loses it is one thing, but listening to what is generally unsolicited advice from people you actually love can be downright hurtful. So breathe. They don’t mean anything by it. The same way I daily have to remind myself that my son is not in control over his actions during a meltdown, I...

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Saying “Booty,” Putting My Kid Out on the Deck, and Other Epic Fails While Parenting an Extreme Child

For the short five years that my husband and I have been parents, we have racked up decades worth of failures. Most of what many would call failures, we laugh off–both because we have sarcastic personalities and try not to take ourselves too seriously, and because disciplining an extreme child requires extreme parenting techniques. Most parents might give a timeout to the child who is kicking and screaming in the grocery cart because they were told they cannot buy one of every cereal with a cartoon character as the high fructose-pushing mascot of sugary doom. Other mothers, of the...

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